vira lillie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chevaleros) wrote2021-02-08 10:30 pm
chevaleros) wrote2021-02-08 10:30 pmEntry tags:
7rings: harrow
how do i not have any lesbian shitposts, i'm a sham
chevaleros) wrote2021-02-08 10:30 pm
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...Recent events have made me reflect, yes.
[ Killing Childe and all that happened before and after. ]
And you? Do you know what you'll be doing, provided we can somehow achieve our wishes?
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[She frowns a little.]
. . . It's hard for me to say, exactly, because I do not know what my wish will be, and what that will change. And it is hard, to accept pinning one's hopes to a future that may not occur.
But I've realized that I dread returning to where I was before this. I didn't realize until I came here how awful it was, and I no longer have any duty owed to the Ninth House that would obligate my return. So. . . I've agreed that I won't be returning there, if it's at all within my power. Perhaps I'll leave with Mollymauk.
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Really? [ She hadn't even considered whether they'd all be able to leave to other places than where they started. ] Ah, no—I'm glad you can recognize a miserable situation and hope for more. But I had thought you might miss your Tomb.
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[She frowns a little, because she's not wrong, but. . .]
I do, and I miss my home, but I cannot return to either. When I became a Lyctor, that door shut forever. There are dangerous things that pursue us, and if I were ever to set foot in the Ninth House again, I would draw them there and bring destruction on all I hold dear.
It's all right; it's enough to know it's all there, and safe. It's enough to have had the opportunity to see her, and know she is there, and that someday she might wake, whether or not I ever see it. [But she also feels less despair at the notion that that's all she ever had than she's had previously.] I feel I've spent enough time devoted to what's dead.
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I see.
[ After all she's seen in Harrow's memories, this is likely the kinder path for her. The idea of letting go and moving on is something Vira herself struggles with, but she doesn't mind seeing it in someone else. ]
You've really learned a lot during your time here.
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[Gently. Because she does understand; even if it was a destructive choice, if that was the choice she was offered, it might be different. But she had already accepted she would never go back there long before this, and never expected her wish to change that.]
I'm not sure whether I have or whether I've just been badgered enough to give in. [Sigh.] . . . I suppose you and I are rather alike in so many ways, so you are likely as reticent as I am about making plans around things that may never come to pass. [She resisted agreeing to anything for so long.] It feels foolish to ask you what you will do, after this, when I am still rather convinced we'll all die here.
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I am reluctant to hope for much. [ She is afraid, and has been for a while now. They can all act as tough as they need to be, but even she's scared of the outcomes here. ] Still, I've grown foolish enough to have faith in our capabilities, too. I think there are people here too clever and too strong to let us fail.
[ So she'll be here to badger Harrow to be happy, too. ]