7rings: harrow

[chevaleros]

how do i not have any lesbian shitposts, i'm a sham

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[bonetiddies]

[Even if it's making Vira sad, it sounds good to her. She is probably more understanding of the notion of devoting your whole heart to one single person than most people here would be, being a romantic, a religious fanatic, and in general extremely extra. But she still can't truly support Vira in her desire to be alone with one person who doesn't even seem to want that from her.

She wouldn't try to argue Vira out of how she feels, even though maybe any reasonable person would, but she feels a little glad all the same.]

. . . I have been learning that happiness is not what I thought it was.

I expected it would only exist in grand moments, experiences of ecstasy. The way it was when I first looked upon the Body; the way it would be when I finally fulfilled my purpose and restored my House.

But I don't necessarily think anymore that being sustained and being happy are the same thing. I find happiness exists more in the smaller moments. Watching you bully Sasazuka into going to the spa, or going - going grocery shopping with Sheila, learning someone's name for the first time, seeing the ocean. [A little twinge of a bittersweet emotion.] Flowers and circuses, perhaps. But mainly company.

It would make me sad, to think you felt you had to give those things up in order to be with Katalina.

[chevaleros]

[ There is a spark of unguarded fondness as Harrow recalls so much that she herself has enjoyed—it is remarkable, how much they've found in such a horrible place, even if it is in such small and passing moments.

Though for some time now, it'd felt corrosive. Like happiness itself was somehow eating at her spirits. Even so, when Harrow frames it like this, she is reluctant to let any of it go. ]

It is as you say. Perhaps purpose and sustenance are not always one with happiness.

[ And she had been at peace with that, before coming here. Her feelings are disrupted now as she leans against the back of the beach chair, observing Harrow. ]

...You are important to me, Harrowhark. I've long lost interest in the seas and skies, but if you enjoy the ocean, then I can find a new loveliness to it. This place makes it so I can't deny or hide that.

[ And that closeness—a fondness and comfortable sort of love compared to her feverish devotion to Katalina—sits underneath all her fear from this week, easy to feel but more difficult to accept, and impossible to obscure forever. ]

Your sadness was never my intent. Please don't allow me to cause you concern. [ She's not used to being worried over. ]

[bonetiddies]

[Sorry that Harrow finds that the most romantic thing anyone has ever said. Sometimes you're really into declarations that belong in a romance novel. She can't exactly hide either, how much she likes hearing them. Her own feelings towards Vira, which are somewhat complex - she thinks she's beautiful, finds her strength inspiring, cares about the ways in which she seems fragile - but she also fears her a little, because she's never loved anyone she's felt she couldn't control.

She likes to know, when she gives her heart to something, that she'll be able to keep it, if she wants to, or lock it away somewhere safe where it can never be taken. But Vira seems just as likely to bolt, or slip away.

It's new, and a little disconcerting, but it feels worth it to try, even if it's only for now.]

You haven't caused my sadness. Quite the contrary.