chevaleros | 7rings: harrow

It takes some getting used to.

[ She shoots her a sympathetic look. It hasn't been so long since Vira had to learn to tune out so many people, too. ]

You should sit—I can make you some coffee or tea, if you'd like.

That's very kind of you, but you don't need to get up.

[She's going to go to the bathroom to wash the makeup off her face off before she sits down, but she'll keep talking while she does.]

What are you reading? Anything interesting?

[ Her sigh is audible from the kitchenette. ]

No, as you might guess, it's a bawdy romance.

[ it's either that or shoujo manga, though she has some of that on the table too. ]

I was hoping to learn a bit more about our situation, but none of the 'literature' here is very enlightening.

I've been looking around for anything interesting, but there's little that's interesting, let alone helpful.

[She'll come out and sit at the table.]

Have you had the opportunity to speak with Despair yet?

[ She laughs a bit, because—yeah. The book is boring, and easy to put down in favor of looking to Harrow, expression sobering some. Her tattoo glows faintly against her hand; they have a name and a face to their symbol, now. ]

Not as much as I'd like. Have you?

We spoke a little. They are interesting. I admit I wasn't certain how to indulge in despair, but I suppose I understand a little more now.

I was unsure as well. Despair seems like something one suffers through, not indulges in.

[ She drums her fingers against the cover of her book once in thought. ]

—May I ask what you make of it?

I thought so as well, but my talk with Despair was illuminating.

[It feels somehow. . . a little more vulnerable, to talk to someone about her sin of despair than to talk of other sins. And uncomfortable, knowing Vira must also feel these things. It's easier not to acknowledge that darkness in easy conversation with a near stranger.]

There have been times I believe I have indulged in despair, and times I have choosen not to. I've chosen to put painful things in the past, to attempt to improve my circumstances rather than to dwell. I believe now, I am called instead to face those painful things head on.

[ Most of them haven't known each other very long, but if they don't want to fall behind, they have to start 'indulging' immediately. It isn't a topic they can shy away from.

And perhaps unlike some of the others—she has spotted a number of them who were upset or confused—Vira understands why she was assigned this. Harrow seems the same. She looks thoughtful. ]

Does that frighten you?

Yes, very much so.

[She isn't surprised at all - but that doesn't mean it isn't difficult.]

I fear disappearing into something I cannot control and have no means to escape. But I've decided to do what it takes to complete this challenge, so whether or not I'm frightened by it is irrelevant.

Well said—regardless of how unpleasant it may be, we all have something important to strive for. Something worth embracing misery for.

[ Strange that they'd get something that makes them feel worse than better, but in the end, this may be the most open-ended sin to indulge. That could be a boon in itself. ]

I would be happy to help you as you need, though I feel that what brings each of us sadness is very personal.

I would be happy to help you as well.

[While submerging in despair doesn't sound great, maybe something good can come from it.]

I . . . have never liked sharing what is personal with others, but that preference is likely to be tested. If it is helpful to you, I spent some time today using the simulation room to conjure a vision that reminded me of. . . someone very dear to me, who is painful for me to look upon.

[ It's a clever idea, if a difficult one. The look in Vira's eyes turns solemn, distant in thought—her voice is soft. ]

Someone you love?

Yes, someone I love. But a love that has never brought me any happiness.

[More of a goth love.]

[ she's silent for a beat, uncertain. how doth one love gothly. ]

How can that be love...?

[ ordinarily she might not delve into painful questions, but this is sort of the point. ]

Can't it be painful, too? Or maybe I'm mistaken, calling it love.

[It's fine. They're talking vaguely. And they're both despairzos, so it's fine.]

. . . The first time I laid eyes on her was when I was a child, on the day I had decided to die. But when I beheld her, I felt something more powerful than any feeling I had ever known, and I wanted to live.

Since then, I have been unable to stop thinking of her, dreaming of her. But. . . because of who she is, it is both impossible and blasphemous, and the revelation has only caused pain to those who care for me.

[ It's Fine™

Maybe it's Vira who doesn't really know how love functions; her lips thin together, a tight line by the time Harrow finishes speaking. ]

...Isn't it strange, how dramatically life changes when your heart yearns after someone? To be kept apart from her must be such torment.

[ So tailored for despair. She lets out a slow, quiet sigh. ]

Why had you chosen death? [ It seems like a reoccurring thing with Harrow. ]

That. . . is a tale I would prefer not to recount.

[At least not yet.]

It was when I was a child. Suffice to say, as the heir to my House, I grew up with a great many expectations on my shoulders. I didn't always know how to live with them.

[ She nods—that's clear enough. ]

If one burdens a child with responsibility, they should at least teach them how to manage it.

[ Her voice turns a bit stricter, harder, though it quickly goes back to its casual lilt. ]

—I'm sorry, I must just be bringing you more pain with my questions.

If you are, you're only helping me better achieve my task.

[It's fine, though.]

. . . Shall I do the same for you? Despair said many of us don't know why we're chosen for their team, but I don't get the sense that's the case.

[ She considers for a moment; Luminiera seems to float near her by instinct, immediately snuggling into her arms. ]

I've spent the better part of the last six years waiting for someone. Someone I adored more than the world itself, and who I longed for more than the sun each morning.

[ She's not sure it's something she should share openly—best to keep her heart closed in a place like this—but considering the conversation thus far, she thinks Harrow would at least understand. ]

Sufficed to say, I think both of us know what despair feels like.

[She does understand, and she also understands Vira's reluctance to share further; she doesn't push her any.]

I'm sorry. I hope you'll find what you need in this place.

Thank you. I am happy these days, but I do consider myself versed enough in despair to succeed.

[ Maybe their experiences will give them a leg-up. ]

I think if we work together, we could do quite well here. Not that I hope to bring you misery, but I invite you to call upon me when you need it. To be frank, I'd rather see you to success than many of the others here.

[ looks at cheese crimes ]

Likewise. I'm certain we'll be able to help one another.

[Vira is. . . a very easy to like person, compared to some of these weirdos.]

7rings: harrow

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