It should frighten her to see this side of Vira. To have evidence to suggest that Vira is this used to putting on personas, of manipulating and betraying, that she looks at other people this way only as a means to an end. An end which is possessive and terrifying.
But she doesn't really feel any of that. This is the girl who remained calm through all of the fighting she had to do on their behalf. The girl who offered to cut off her own arm for them. The girl who after, cool and confident as ever, helped toss aside cookies so Takeru wouldn't have to eat them.
She doesn't think the Vira she's seeing here represents all there is to her. She admitted to her own faults - lies and betrayals and manipulations - and Harrowhark cannot judge her. She has done ugly things. Her existence is itself an ugly thing. And she has tried and tried to find a meaning to wrap herself around, to motivate her continue living. She has a sense that Vira is the same; that these are the actions of a person who has nothing else.
How lonely it must be, to love someone who can leave you behind.
She blinks back the memory as it fades, returning to their living quarters.]
no subject
It should frighten her to see this side of Vira. To have evidence to suggest that Vira is this used to putting on personas, of manipulating and betraying, that she looks at other people this way only as a means to an end. An end which is possessive and terrifying.
But she doesn't really feel any of that. This is the girl who remained calm through all of the fighting she had to do on their behalf. The girl who offered to cut off her own arm for them. The girl who after, cool and confident as ever, helped toss aside cookies so Takeru wouldn't have to eat them.
She doesn't think the Vira she's seeing here represents all there is to her. She admitted to her own faults - lies and betrayals and manipulations - and Harrowhark cannot judge her. She has done ugly things. Her existence is itself an ugly thing. And she has tried and tried to find a meaning to wrap herself around, to motivate her continue living. She has a sense that Vira is the same; that these are the actions of a person who has nothing else.
How lonely it must be, to love someone who can leave you behind.
She blinks back the memory as it fades, returning to their living quarters.]
. . . Do you remember her now? I wasn't certain.